Thursday, April 09, 2015

How They Ended Up Here

Every few years I get this urge to find out what legacy am I leaving behind through this blog? Whose curiosity does Google fulfill by leading them to this online corner store? And the Internet rarely disappoints. 
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Back in 2010 I held my nose and dove into the crevices of Google Analytics to find the answers to the questions above. What searches landed people on my blog? Here's what I found then. Yes, my blog was that bar where people came when "one of my clients said i am fat and ugly". Also for some innocent questions like "effects of loitering at cyber cafe".

Wanted to see if I have been providing able support to similar seekers of truth over the years, and so this evening I conducted the same exercise after five years. What keywords are leading people to my blog now? Was not surprised to see that the majority came from android, app download, johari window, and cricket related queries. Not surprising given the flavour of the majority of my content. Then came the the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. Here's to the hungry, and the foolish.

1. "kurkure dharosh bhaja" [Translation from Bangla "crispy okra/ladiesfinger fritters"]

As a self respecting pot-bellied Bengali I take it as a matter of pride that my little online diary has been providing life's answers to those craving eternal bliss.

2. "" (from a mobile browser)

If one keyword search embodies the story of the new India, this is it. In saftware we trust.

3. "sourav ganguly ki hindi me onki bate wo kisi insaan the"

I will assume that this person got carried away midway through her search and shared her deepest thoughts with the Internet.

4. "mouth full of cum at work"

Having worked at only two companies I really had no clue about what goes on in other offices.

5. "when arijit singh 23 year old where he did work"

Not sure who Arijit Singh is, but now I absolutely need to know about his early stage career choices.

6. "who is suhel banerjee"

Have to admit this was an ego boost. Someone out there wants to know all about me. What do I have for breakfast? Which is my favourite IPL team? What do I stand for? What's my online banking password?

7. "why srk absent from filmfare 2015"

This is a little ironic because I have wondered about this question a few times this year, and apparently I am one of those who has the answer to this. Wah Google!

8. "www suhel sex"

While I am flattered, I have a nagging feeling it's about that other Suhel who lives in TV studios.

9. "शुरत शे गोरखपुर तक कनफरम शीट अवथ एकशपेरेश" [Translation from Hindi "From Surat To Gorakhpur confimed seat in Avadh Express"]

After a point you just stop refreshing IRCTC and go to the site least likely to help you book your train tickets. I think that's what happened here.

10. "ugly fat bhoomihar girl"

And finally we come to the one that's bothered me the most. Did they find her? Or if it was a self search, did she overcome the complex? Is she alright?

The search is on...