Monday, November 03, 2008

CAT De India

They say every day is not a Sunday, definitely not the third Sunday of November. This day decides India's fate every year. The great Indian middle class dream is up for grabs for two to three hours on this day.

Whether you become a part of the all conquering India Inc. or spend another year trying to multiply two numbers with three digits following the decimal point in less than two point four seven seconds is decided on this day. Your entry into the steel and glass world of Euros, Yens and laptops is decided by your ability to understand the pathos of a character from an excerpt from a management story and relate it to the feelings of an eskimo after he has bought his latest refrigerator. Is he happy that he has a new item to flaunt? Or is he flaunting his happiness at the new acquisition? Or is it a blend of both emotions? Did you say (a)? Or was it (b)? You better be sure because in the difference lies your anonymous existence and the key to the brave new India.

How do you expect someone to handle the declining sales of a company in times of recession such as this, unless she could blurt out the volume of a pyrimad on a spherical object in less time than a computer, ten years back? You thought the last sentence was convoluted with an intention of propelling you into the orbit of uncertainty and gloom? Ha! Your comprehension abilities are many notches below what is required to add up cells in Excel with the help of your Executive Assistant. You are not welcome to the 'club'.

Frankly, you tell me, which sane person will employ you in an organisation if you don't know the differences between chutzpah and chiroprocter? Or is it chiropractor? Well, there goes my chance!

If MBA is religion CAT is baptism. Baptism by fire as many would say. As a friend's dad recently mentioned about the i-banking crash, "It was but natural for the crash to shake up the world. After all these years all these super brain MBAs finally did something for the world as a whole to take notice."

For all of my friends and others trying to 'bell the CAT' (the winner of the most cliched Indian expression, 7 years running), I wish you all the best. May the MBA Gods smile approvingly upon your DI, PS and VA questions on the third Sunday of November.



P.S: been there, haven't done that it. Took the test a few years back and couldn't divide numbers fast enough. So feel free to call it sour grapes or half baked wisdom:)
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