Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Of Juhi Chawla's Bulging Tummy & Greek Blood In Biharis

I sometimes amuse myself by going through a fascinating list which reflects the inherent human curiosity better than anything else. Here people drop all their guards and look for information without any inhibition. People are at their vulnerable best when they are alone, firing in query after query in their Google search box. Unfortunately I do not have access to all search being performed everywhere. However, I have installed Google Analytics on my blog for sometime now, and besides giving me a wealth of information about which browsers have visitors used for coming to me site, which country and city they are from, how long they spent there - it also tells me which keyword did they search for which brought them to my blog. Today I want to share with you some of the most outlandish keywords that I have found in my list! 

Disclaimer: Just because people landed on my blog by searching for these keywords does NOT mean that I have an active interest in these topics OR that I write about/upload pictures about these topics. So, please don't start judging me and my blog!

Here's my top 30 in no particular order

Query 1. 2006 company profile in darbhanga email com new mails

Suhel Speak - Still can't figure what exactly s/he was searching for.

2. a small imaginary story about the indian proverb a friend in deed is a friend in deed

For some reason unknown s/he decided to give India the credit for this proverb!

3. african translation of kosha

In Bangla it means a kind of food preparation with less gravy. No idea about it's African translation.

4. all contact phone no.of married women who need fun & friend in orissa

I am sure that will be an interesting list to have, unfortunately haven't been able to lay my hands on it. Yet.

5. alu curry like indian train station

Wonder why would a train station be like potato curry, unless...YUCK!

6. amitabh bachchan's drawing rooms clips

Sorry, he asked me not to share those with the world.

7. banagali girls naked photos

The typo shows he was really excited.

8. bangali's general view about marriage and single life

I could have helped, but I have a specific view, sorry.

9. bear a sidekick to a larger human character who is always putting his foot in it

Completely confused! What do you want to know?

10. biharis are intellectual

I'm sure some of them are, there you have my support.

11. biharis have greek blood

Really? Did Alexander go down to that part of India?

12. bombay tcs -software engineer shooted nakedly by her room met

S/he met with a terrible fate, but I really am not involved in all this.

13. borrow money from friend write note

Aha, so now you want me to help you to borrow money?

14. boudhayan i love you

Bua, my friend, I always knew you are a superstar! See this is what women want to say.

15. date sheet of exam marwari college darbhanga

All the best! But why so much of Bihari influence in the searches?

16. dhishum dhishum concept in bollywood

That's so last century. It's all love-peace-education-diseases now.

17. effects of loitering at cyber cafe

Could be dangerous, punishable by law.

18. english translation of face a face thierry henry et patrick vieira

Must be interesting to look at their English faces.

19. fat ugly frustrated guy

C'mon, you're being too harsh on yourself.

20. four+to+five+lines+about+my+experience+as+an+hostelite

You can't even write 4-5 lines? You come to my blog for this?

21. gourd doesnt help in the curry, tamil proverb

Thanks for letting me know of this Tamil proverb.

22. how long can we use lactogen once the box is opened?

Will share my thought once I start parenting.

23. how much does auto driver earn in hyderabad

The way they charged me after 10 PM, I'm guessing quite a lot.

24. idioms frequently asked in infosys placement papers.

Aha, so they take English language test for all the engineers. I have a business plan!

25. is shahrukh khan a arsenal fc fan

As a Shahrukh Khan fan what I know is he is a ManU fan. Not sure about his thoughts about Arsenal.

26. juhi chawla bulging tummy

That's just rude!

27. karan johar paying penalty for raining men

I know there are questions about his orientation, but really? Raining Men? He must be a happy man!

28. mera naam rizwan khan hai epiglottis

That was quick indexing by Google. 2 days flat.

29. naked pictures of manager of satyam

Which one do you want? Will search my database.

30. one of my clients said i am fat and ugly

I am really sorry for you. Don't take it to heart.


Unknown said...

I m really surprised to see so many Bihari, frustated, naked pic searches leading to your blog site??
What is the matter?

Geetu Ahuja said...

Really funny Suhel.... what sort of content do u post pal???

Sayan Chakraborti said...

I see your blog is "really" famous!

Nandini Vishwanath said...

Suhel, I'd forgotten about this blog :) I'm glad you started writing again.

Way too many controversies on this blog ;)

Nishit said...

You should title this post NSFW. I am in my office and laughing my heart out. Not good for my job.

Anonymous said...

After going through the list of keywords that people used to land up at your Blog-step, I'm really curious about your blog !!!

Jayanta Bhattacharya said...

Yes, I firmly believe Biharis have Greek blood.

When my father was posted to Patna in 1993, we had this landlord's son-in-law. He had striking Greek features. My mom exclaimed that he looked like Pete Sampras (Greek origin again). Then, I saw many of them having square faces, light curly/wavy hair, light eyes, squarish built.

Seleucus I Nicator, a Macedonian officer of Alexander the Great was defeated by Chandragupta Maurya. Then he formed an alliance with him and if my memory serves me right of having read this somewhere, his daughter was married to Chandragupta Maurya (who, some historians say, brought the saree to India). Megasthenes was the the Macedonian ambassador to Chandragupta Maurya's court.

It is quite possible that many more Macedonian (read Greek)-Bihari matrimonial (or otherwise) alliances have been formed during that time.

Many from the Bhumihar caste there have Greek features to this date. I personally know quite a few of them.

Abhishek said...

Oops - seems I have some explaining to do here !! Some 4-5 years ago, I had got into the world of blogging by writing 3 "Guest Blogs" on Suhel Da's site here. You can see all of them here: http://suhelbanerjee.blogspot.com/search/label/Guest%20Post . (Suhel Da please change the yellow color :P - I don't like yellow ). All Bihar related queries (1, 10, 11 and 15) can be attributed in some roundabout way to my 3rd post - Drive to The Finish. No 23 is also perhaps accounted for by the same post. My 2nd Post - Deja Vu - would account for No 18 and 25 - SRK, Arsenal, Henry, Vieira et al.

Other than this - I have no idea on number of the others. For eg: why a query for naked "Banagali" girls would come to your site. Perhaps people have some very wrong notions about you Suhel. I am sure they are all mistaken - It is possibly a case of Serendipity - my first Post ;).

And finally - this is one awesome blog post in itself. Your takes on each of these queries is awesome as well.

Vishal said...

#5 and #26 had me in splits. ROTFL!

Unknown said...

couldn't help commenting! its hilarious!
my favs are 5,9, and 27 btw

Suhel Banerjee said...

@Ravi Shekhar - I am petrified to see what kind of image I have in the blogosphere!

@Geetu - Thanks Geetu, and mother promise all of my posts are completely family safe. You can read it with your family.

@Sayan - Did you really require the quotes?:)

@Nandini - I think we are talking about different blogs;)

@Nishit - I sincerely apologise for the lack of disclaimer:)

@Jayanta - That's thorough research. So there is a firm base behind these searches:)

@Abhility - Now that you have come out of the woods and taken responsibility, why don't you write a blog post in your blog absolving me of all this sin?:)

@Vishal - I particularly liked # 30. Dread the day when I will need to search for that!

@arbee - Thanks!